Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
