Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Randomize