Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Randomize
