You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
