I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
