id be glad to
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize