Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
