i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident