i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
nutella sex= disaster
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
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I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
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I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
That's how pantless uber rides happen
The Easter sex puns were too abundant