Texts From Last Night

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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.

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  (303): I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment. http://tfl.nu/lu2o
  Replies (11) Good night (3659) Bad night (1078)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am

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  (610): i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am http://tfl.nu/8pmq
  Replies (16) Good night (894) Bad night (3135)
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  (580): View more from Oklahoma

  I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar

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  (580): I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar http://tfl.nu/19bx
  Replies (6) Good night (1031) Bad night (2101)
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  (949): View more from California

  My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit

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  (949): My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit http://tfl.nu/1azl
  Replies (11) Good night (4102) Bad night (877)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.

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  (850): HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM. http://tfl.nu/agqo
  Replies (13) Good night (735) Bad night (2330)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar

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  (515): we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar http://tfl.nu/51mn
  Replies (10) Good night (2304) Bad night (1049)
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  (979): View more from Texas

  I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.

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  (979): I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that. http://tfl.nu/fwoy
  Replies (1) Good night (1147) Bad night (796)
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  (709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

  I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.

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  (709): I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking. http://tfl.nu/va6a
  Replies (2) Good night (1872) Bad night (832)
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter

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  (907): I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter http://tfl.nu/wvk4
  Replies (13) Good night (716) Bad night (593)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....

  (1-540): View more from Virginia

  I seemed to have misplaced my pants...

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  (540): Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?.... (1-540): I seemed to have misplaced my pants... http://tfl.nu/s4v6
  Replies (5) Good night (1046) Bad night (360)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.

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  (608): I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books. (608): I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night. http://tfl.nu/nd7e
  Replies (0) Good night (731) Bad night (459)
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  (386): View more from Florida

  At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.

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  (386): At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though. http://tfl.nu/1o31
  Replies (13) Good night (749) Bad night (339)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?

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  (517): I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right? http://tfl.nu/axzn
  Replies (0) Good night (455) Bad night (276)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.

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  (416): what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend. http://tfl.nu/f5ud
  Replies (5) Good night (1105) Bad night (319)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise

  (702): View more from Nevada

  I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise

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  (775): are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise (702): I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise http://tfl.nu/pg7f
  Replies (0) Good night (621) Bad night (280)

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