The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.