I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover