Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(732): View more from New Jersey

I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people

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(219): View more from Indiana

So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.

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(619): View more from California

The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.

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(419): View more from Ohio

if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight

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21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
Read it at the TFLN blog
(864): View more from South Carolina

turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy

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(254): View more from Texas

Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.

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(919): View more from North Carolina

at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up

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(317): View more from Indiana

considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead

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(847): View more from Illinois

Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover

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