Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(647): View more from Ontario

she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf

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(647): she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf http://tfl.nu/59j2

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(248): View more from Michigan

I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?

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(248): I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you? http://tfl.nu/mhei

Replies (8) Good night (2028) Bad night (399) Order T-Shirt
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...

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(610): I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library... http://tfl.nu/atq4

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(931): View more from Tennessee

My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.

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(931): My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life. http://tfl.nu/ajpd

Replies (9) Good night (5035) Bad night (771) Order T-Shirt
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(413): View more from Massachusetts

your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often

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(413): your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often http://tfl.nu/h345

Replies (5) Good night (3109) Bad night (779) Order T-Shirt
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(336): View more from North Carolina

the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.

(336): View more from North Carolina

"people in the room" being me.

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(336): the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine. (336): "people in the room" being me. http://tfl.nu/hpsj

Replies (12) Good night (5420) Bad night (1116)
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(612): View more from Minnesota

Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.

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(612): Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes. http://tfl.nu/p3u3

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(314): View more from Missouri

Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night

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(314): Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night http://tfl.nu/67n5

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(201): View more from New Jersey

There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment

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(201): There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment http://tfl.nu/jnnd

Replies (2) Good night (527) Bad night (1326) Order T-Shirt
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(678): View more from Georgia

This is the weirdest negotiation ever.

(814): View more from Pennsylvania

This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.

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(678): This is the weirdest negotiation ever. (814): This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue. http://tfl.nu/rt97

Replies (1) Good night (1874) Bad night (457)
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(847): View more from Illinois

The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.

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(847): The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome. http://tfl.nu/h8r4

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(801): View more from Utah

He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.

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(801): He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me. http://tfl.nu/il2t

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(440): View more from Ohio

Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"

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(440): Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!" http://tfl.nu/2j1e

Replies (10) Good night (1667) Bad night (473)
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(317): View more from Indiana

He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.

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(317): He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life. http://tfl.nu/c0aw

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(225): View more from Louisiana

The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.

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(225): The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night. http://tfl.nu/csqe

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