Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?