I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Randomize
