She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
