She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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