I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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