Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They took my balls.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize