South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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