Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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