There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Randomize
