i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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