And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
