Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
My liver just broke up with me...
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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