you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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