Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize