when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
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