My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
