I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
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