It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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