Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I'm always down for nudity.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
