As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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