all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize