we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
