at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Randomize
