My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
