try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
