ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Randomize
