This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I color on your dick again?
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
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