Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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