problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize