We should be called the Road Head Warriors
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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