I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
