and next time when you feel me up, do it right
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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