Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
