i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
