Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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