problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Randomize
