sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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