Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize
