No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Randomize
