i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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