You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize