Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
