ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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