Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Randomize