I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
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