Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
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