my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
