His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
