They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He passed out mid-signature
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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