if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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